A wonderful day

Make a Smilebox slideshow

If any of you watch any of the regular shows on the Food Network, then you have heard more than one FN star comment that food is about more than just feeding the body, it can feed and nurture the soul.

Gabe hasn't been sleeping well at all this week and it has been hectic at work - on top of the usual pace at home. By the weekend, I was feeling frazzled and overwhelmed and a little lost. I had been craving the vegetable soup my Mom makes from scratch all week and had been talking to her about the right vegetables, soup bones and beef to buy in order to pull it off. I worked on the broth most of Saturday and then put the soup together on Sunday.

After church Sunday, and a trip to the Donut Bank, we came home and had a nice day together. While Gabe got in a nice nap, I worked on assembling the soup . While the soup simmered, Gabe napped, and the Colts made us nervous, the older boys and I got to work on some gingerbread men, and a home for them. We mixed and rolled the dough and the boys cut out their own little family made of ginger. Justin was commenting as we worked - as if they were being created in a hospital, "Ok, now that surgery is done and you are born, we will put you in the oven and it may hurt a little, but you will be a lot better after you are done..." As the family baked, we began working on their house. Yes, this year we went with the preassembled house and stuck with the decorating, and the boys had a ball. For a short while they got a long perfectly and we worked well together. It was one of those idyllic days that I'll always remember, and hopefully the boys will too.

When the decorating was done and cleaned up, I dipped into the vegetable soup, closed my eyes and for a moment I was sitting in a kitchen in Terre Haute - I wasn't a grown up with grown up obligations and responsibilities. The soup had turned out just like Mom's and it was like she was there when I needed her most. We got each other through a lot of times when the men in our lives were off doing what they needed to do and each other was all we had. Between the gingerbread house (I remember the one we made completely from scratch one year) and the soup, I felt calmed, comforted and renewed. Thanks Mom - miss you!

Tonight was one of those nights when the Mom role was pretty smooth, and after last week, I was relieved. Our household is finally recovering from a run-in with a nasty tummy bug. Gabe started throwing up sometime Sunday night and continued through Wednesday - then the poor guy had it coming at him from the other end. He didn't sleep well most nights, so we didn't either. He has also been fighting with those last two stubborn teeth. Around 5:30 Wednesday morning, Kendrick woke us up by getting sick in his bed. Calling around for help revealed that both Grandma and Aunt Brooke had been struck as well. All day Thursday I felt ill, but nothing like what the boys went through. I was a little concerned Halloween would be a bust, but everyone seemed well enough for a brief round of trick or treating. We managed through a busy weekend, but it seemed apparent that everyone was just a little "off" and out of sorts.

Today we seem to be rallying back to normal. Kendrick has gone from tremendously whiney to lovey and cooperative (for a four-year old) again. He even commented on himself, "Mommy, I am being really nice tonight. I haven't cried at all!" That sums him up pretty well. Gabe woke up chattering and smiling and has also maintained good humor all day. He's been walking around with his musical Halloween card from Grandpa O and Grandma Carolyn, just opening and closing it and smiling. At one point he had his card and Kendrick's, and no intention of giving it back.

Since the last update, Justin received his first report grade that has actual grades in it. He got all 6's (6 is the highest grade in their system). The only really area of "concern" was paying attention - which sounds familiar. When we met with his teacher, she commented that even though it frequently seems Justin is in outer space, he always figures out where they are and what is going on. He has learned his lesson about getting up to speed by checking his neighbor's paper, and will ask for help if he is really lost. His teacher especially commented on Justin's love of reading and mentioned that she will likely move him up to a second grade level in the AR program soon. His handwriting is a little messy, but she thinks it is because he is beginning to realize he is slower than most of the other kids when it comes to writing and he is trying to hurry. He is very meticulous, and has good writing when he has the time.

Kendrick loves all of his new activities. It is evident that the other boys in the tumbling class are older and more physically coordinated, but the college girls teaching the class are thoroughly charmed by him and are happy to modify for him, without slowing down the other boys. EVERYTIME Kendrick smiles, the girls light up and comment "He's so cute!". He likes swimming and is getting much more comfortable in the water - even practicing strokes in the bath.

Gabe continues to babble away and is starting to add some more vaguely recognizeable words. We're pretty sure he is trying to say "Justin" and his favorite word is "bubble".

General Update

Life has been very busy, so I haven't had a lot of time to update in a while. I replied to a family email, and before I knew it, I had gone on and on about what was going on with us. I opted to copy the bulk of it and post it here. As I have been reading through again for edits, what jumps out the most is how normal it all sounds. So blessed and blissfully normal - so very different from where we were a year ago. Over the past couple of weeks I have gotten several reminders of how lucky we have been. I got a call from an audiology friend who's stepmom works with a young woman. This woman is halfway through her pregnancy and found out the baby has a DH and about a 50/50 chance. I don't know any more than that. Keep them in your prayers. Another family my sister-in-law knows round about through work has a little one at Riley right now, struggling with multiple heart defects. Our dear friends, the Hufty's, are doing well but continue to struggle with colds and some setbacks. They got the news we were dreading, but never got. Time to hunker down for winter and become reclusive again. Keep all of them in your prayers, please.

Ok, here's the update - the ordinary, normal, day-to-day stuff we are so pleased to be able to tell you about.

Justin was telling us he is now in the "AR" program at school. He reads a book twice, on his free time in school, then answers questions about it on the computer. He loves it and has read 4 now, I think. He says he hasn't missed any questions yet! He really loves reading and is moving quickly through the "Magic Treehouse" Series at home. We have finished the first 8 books and are getting ready to purchase the next four-pack. We read the chapters with both older boys (Gabe is usually around but doesn't tolerate sitting and listening very often at this point)but Justin has gone back and started rereading the earlier books on his own and is doing really well. We have to help him with a few words, but not many. He has also been given his first piano solo to get ready for spring contest! I didn't really expect that this year - he is also winning the practice contest (meaning he has logged in the most practice time of all the kids taking lessons with this teacher). He is also getting better at tumbling, especially with the bar work. We are switching him to an "all boys" class, which spends more time on the elements that boys would do in competition. He is really interested in diving, so we'll see... Oh yeah, and he is still excited about Scouts. Josh just found out that the city is allowing officers to take an hour of comp time a week to devote to volunteer service, so now he shouldn't have to miss any of the meetings, unless it is really busy at work (which is helpful since he will be a co-leader).

Kendrick wants to join everything. He is currently taking "All Star Sports", which exposes the kids to a little bit of everything. Basketball leagues are starting in a couple of weeks at the Y and he wants to do it. He also wants to start swim lessons again and take tumbling with Justin. He would kind of like to try soccer some time too. WHEW! On the academic side of things, he has finally taken an interest in coloring and writing (primarily writing) which he has never really wanted to do before. He now asks to do a workbook when he comes home from school and wants to go over his "homework" (which consists of whatever art project they had that day). I suspect at least some of this is his attempt to grab some attention. We spend a lot of time with Justin on piano lessons and homework, and he can get overshadowed sometimes. I am making a more concerted effort to keep from happening. Over night he has gone from scribbling pictures for me to drawing recognizeable items. Last night he showed us a bunch of scribbled circles on a page from earlier that day and told us it was a picture of the YMCA. Naturally we responded, "OH! Ofcourse! Nice drawing Kendrick!" (scratch the head) Not thirty minutes later, he came up to me with a picture he had drawn just for me. It was a picture of himself picking me a flower. The self portrait consisted of a head with eyes, nose and a big smile. He had arms with five fingers at the end of each appendage. These arms were attached to a body, not just a stick or the head itself but a potato-shaped body! From the bottom were clearly legs. Interestingly there were two loops right where the legs connected to the body, which was curious so I asked him what they were. Innocent enough question which earned me a droll look and response, "They're HIPS, Mommy". Silly me. So he goes straight from scribbles to anatomy - who knew?

Gabe is coming right along in therapy and is likely to drop next month from OT and PT every week to OT once a MONTH and PT every other week. Amazing. Our most significant accomplishment is probably staying clear of the ER in over a month (knock on head). He has only been to the doctor for a flu shot recently. All three boys have theirs and we need to get ours. He is babbling more and more, starting to slowly add actual words and now has four consistent signs: more, eat, milk & please. He pretty much walks everywhere, looking very much like a little old man as he goes. This past Friday we made a quick trip to Indy for the members preview of the "Haunted Train" at the Children's museum and then a small reunion with some of the night nurses who took care of him. We haven't had much opportunity to visit with the night nurses, so we were very excited to stop in. Tabatha and Amanda fussed over Gabe's transformation from the last time they had seen him, and the boys' costumes from the party at the museum. As we were preparing to leave, we even ran into Dr. Rouse, who did a double-take seeing little Gabe the lion, accompanied by the Scarecrow and Tin man!! It was cute.

All in the same weekend, we took the boys to the Fall Festival on Saturday and then got up early Sunday morning to run in the Evansville Half Marathon. Josh did phenomonal - running the entire distance and coming in under 2 hours, right around 1:51. He also stated that he felt much better than the last time he ran it - which was about 3 years ago. I finished, which was all I really hoped to do. I made it in 2:41, which was much better than the 3 hours I was just hoping I could do. I didn't run the whole way, but am pretty sure I ran about 80%. It was an amazing feeling to cross the finish line and shock of shocks, may do it again. I am still sore today, but getting around really well, which shocks me too. I had only made it to the 6 mile mark in training, so my expectations were not too high. Not bad for thirty-something who hasn't run much since high school.

NICU reunion

Make a Smilebox slideshow

This past Saturday the whole family made it to the NICU reunion. To say it was an important day to us is an understatement. During our stay in the modules, spending time getting to know other families in the waiting room and learning how to lean on each other, the reunion picnic wasn't something we focused on. That would come later. As time passed, and we all went home, one family at a time, the reunion was still something that sounded like a nice idea, but wasn't a reality. Our little graduates still had so many struggles ahead of them and a big party (with big germs) just wasn't something we could risk. This year was different. We still have hurdles to tackle, but we can finally look back and see how far we have come and celebrate. We could enjoy one another's families and watch the little ones who once fought so hard just to be here, smile and interact with each other - and reconnect with the incredible people who gave so much of themselves to give our children a chance at a better life - some days, a chance at life period. It was joyful, it was poignant, it was entertaining and it was a relief. Enjoy the pictures.

Miracle Blizzard Day!!

I just saw the advertisements for this a few days ago, or I would have blogged about it sooner!! Go get a blizzard and enjoy the treat knowing that you have also made an easy donation to the miracle network. It will help hospitals and families, like Riley, who so desperately need it. I don't have to tell most of you what Riley means to us, you know. For those who stumble across this site - I'll try to summarize. Uncertainty is never easy, but when the question mark sits squarely on your child's life, the fear that comes with the unknown is magnified. I carried Gabriel for nearly nine months and although I couldn't change what had gone wrong in development, I could do my best to care for myself and ergo care for him. While I still carried him, he was safe. When he was born, what little control I had was stripped away. As parentts, you are supposed to know what to do for your child, what soothes them and how to care for them. They don't come with manuals, but you figure most of it out or rely on the advice of others. I couldn't fix this, couldn't even hold him for a minute and tell him it would be ok. He needed immediate care that was beyond anything I knew about and the helplessness was overwhelming. I didn't know what to do, had no answers, but Thank God we were in a place with people who did. They knew what to do when we didn't. Even when they weren't sure what to do next, they never stopped searching for the answers or the next step. Gabriel was exactly where he needed to be and between their hands and God's hands, we have a miracle of our own. He crawls all over the house, makes messes and has a smile that lights up your soul and chases away even the gloomiest of moods. We can't imagine our lives without him and are grateful we don't have to.

So if you happen to pass by a DQ today, swing through the drive-thru or stop in. Order your favorite blizzard or try something new, doesn't matter. Diet or no diet, you can feel good about what you are doing. If you just can't break the diet (or are lactose intolerant) throw a dollar in the jar, most DQ's collect money for the miracle network. If you've followed our story, you are firmly part of our miracle through your thoughts and prayers - think how amazing it would be to be part of a whole network of miracles.

Just like last year, if you get one, leave a comment and let us know what you got!! I'll probably go for the German Chocolate....

I noticed it has been two weeks since the last update - and it has been a busy two weeks!! Everything specific to Gabe is on his blog, so feel free to check in there as well. Yesterday we celebrated Josh's birthday - I suppose I can let him reveal his age if he chooses. Josh and the older boys hung out in the morning, playing his vintage nintendo while Gabe napped. In the afternoon they played miniature golf while Gabe took his afternoon nap with Grandma - I guess I should have said "at" Grandma's...or maybe it was with....I'm not sure. I had to work all day, and it was very busy and hectic. I was exhausted when I hit the door, but did my best to rally and not be a party-pooper. We did go OUT for dinner, so that was a big help!! The boys and I had made a "cookie-cake" for Josh on Tuesday, since he prefers that to regular cake, which we all enjoyed with Josh's family (minus Kaci and Justin - here in spirit) after dinner. Last year we ate downtown in Indianapolis for Josh's birthday dinner, and it was awful. (Don't go to Alcatraz) This year was an improvement in many ways. Josh got several new shirts and money towards a GPS. Hmmmm....are those gifts suggesting something? I'll let everyone ponder that.

That brings us to today's very big anniversary. Today marks a full year that our family has been home together, whole and complete. My eyes are already watering, so this will be brief. I have another full day of work to get through! I think all I want to say right now is how much we appreciate everyone who has supported us this past year - and even when we first learned about Gabe's condition. It has been an incredible journey from there to here and we have all grown along with Gabe and also learned what we are made of. Some of it good and some of it not so much, but all of it part of an incredible tapestry of change and evolution.

Celebration!

It has been a busy summer for our family! We celebrated the fourth at Lincoln this year with Josh's family (almost ALL of them). It is always extra special to celebrate this holiday with family, but it was even more wonderful that the five us were together this year. Last year I spent the holiday at Riley, taping a small flag to Gabe's crib and watching the Indianapolis fireworks display from the top of the parking garage with the Hufty's and some of the nurses and their families. The boys were in Evansville with Grandma, Grandpa, Aunt Kaci and Aunt Brooke and Josh was working. This year, as we sat on a blanket beneath the stars and waited for the first burst of color and spark, Josh leaned over and commented "Better than last year, huh?". Amazingly I hadn't been thinking about the year before (I think I have made comparisons between this year and the last on a near daily basis) and that comment had the tears welling and then running down my cheeks. It was a definite role reversal as I am usually making those comments to Josh.

Despite some illness (mainly Justin and then Gabe) it was another great week at Lincoln. Everyone had a great time and arrived home safely, but exhausted. I am posting a slideshow of our time at Lincoln, which will summarize the week better than I could do in words. Josh and I couldn't be there for all of the festivities, so if anyone has some good pictures, I can always add them! It is a little lengthy, but enjoy if you have a few minutes.

Make a Smilebox slideshow

As I type...

I am watching Gabe crawl back and forth between two toys, pulling himself up to his knees to reach what he wants. He is once again making huge strides and figuring out how to achieve what he wants. He has officially pulled himself up to standing without any help. I had put him to bed just a little while ago and as I was setting out my running shoes (optimistic for a morning run - we'll see) Gabe started fussing. He has gotten into the habit of throwing his pacifier out of the bed, then either wanting it back to go to sleep, or to chuck it again. I walked in to find him pulled up to his knees and peering over the side at his pacifier on the floor. It was a funny sight since the older boys never pulled up on the side of their cribs at this age and only did so rarely as they got older. They NEVER tried to climb over the rails - which usually surprises and baffles most parents when I tell them. When I walked in, Gabe started smiling at me, indicating he was not necessarily close to sleeping yet. As I stood there, unable to supress my own grin even knowing I was no longer going to bed as planned, he grabbed the rail and pulled all the way up to standing. To my knowledge this is the first time he has done this, and Josh (who walked in behind me) and I got to witness it. I don't know about Josh, but I felt a multitude of emotions at this one action. I'm not going to gush or get emotional, but it was truly wonderful to see. He's getting busier by the day - and life is getting more and more intresting...

A little earlier in the evening I was summoned into Justin and Kendrick's room. Despite already being tucked into bed with their lullabye CD softly playing, they wanted to talk about VBS. I tried all afternoon to get them to tell me about it, but they were too busy with their own summertime afternoon activities to stop and talk. Now they were ready and not about to be put off. I could have sternly reminded them we went on a late bike ride and they needed to get to sleep for VBS the next day and during the school year I probably would have. Josh had Gabe, so I opted to sit on the bed and let them tell me about their adventures. I enjoyed hearing the excitement in their voices - especially when their initial reaction to VBS was a little dubious. It was obvious they really listened and got involved in the activities. As I was getting up to leave the room, Justin hugged me and said he was glad they signed up for Bible school because he was really having fun.

So as I sit and type, also watching Gabe play and ponder, I also notice the handful of toys that haven't been put away. There are items on the dining room table I meant to put away and a bag by the door full of stuff I meant to sort through and put away. Oh well. It'll be there tomorrow. Tonight I got to sit and listen to my busy boys happily tell me about their day - won't there possibly come a day when I find out everything from their friends, if I'm lucky? I also got to watch Gabe achieve another milestone. He's sitting just a few feet away with a the tv remote he pulled down from the little table next to the rocker - and rolling his eyes at me. Oh yes, that is a new trick. He loves to roll his eyes up and then looks back at us and grins. So the stuff I meant to do can wait.

Happy Father's day

I made a slideshow for Josh for today - the boys helped pick out the picture of themselves. It does take a few minutes to view, but it was fun and I think Josh enjoyed the little trip down "Dad's Memory Lane". We had a nice day, but played it a bit low-key since Josh had to work. Yesterday we went swimming and today I fixed breakfast, we went to mass then out to eat with Josh's family.

Make a Smilebox slideshow

Busy Weekend

The purpose of our trip up North this weekend was to say our final goodbyes to Grandma - she passed away in January. We weren't sure we were even going to make it at one point. Unfortunately we didn't know anything about the torrential rains that swept through central Indiana until we were witnessing the after-effects. As we got closer to Terre Haute, we finally picked up a local radio station and were astonished to hear Vigo county was under a state of emergency for flooding. Sure enough there was water streaming over 41 and rescue boats were coming and going with people and pets. It was surreal. We were right in the middle of a scene straight out of the television. People were standing on the edge of 41, wrapped in blankets and cuddling their pets. Apartment buildings had become islands and a car had drifted into a ditch. We made it through, but then encountered more problems trying to head East on I-70, which was washing away. Hours later we arrived at our hotel in Lebanon with the rest of the family arriving shortly after. Everyone had their own story to tell, but mostly we were all just happy to be done traveling and together.



Several people met Gabe for the first time, including my brother,his wife and his son. It was fun to finally share him with them in person. All three boys had a great time and entertained everyone in our group - and other groups at the hotel as well, I think. Sunday afternoon was the memorial service and final burial of Grandma's ashes. Mike and Dad had their guitars and sang Grandma's favorite hymns. She was a beautiful and courageous lady who has been greatly missed. She had so many great qualities. She certainly perservered through more than her share of family crises and was the glue that held it all together. She had a temper that was formidable, but quick to dissipate and she didn't hold a grudge that I knew of. All are qualities I can only hope to aspire to, but probably the two qualities I admire most would be here adventurous spirit and her ability to laugh at herself. I certainly make more than my share of mistakes, but don't always like to acknowledge them - it would be far better if I could laugh at them and move on. I'm working on it.
**Note on laughing at oneself - I'll let Mom fill you in on her "funny" moment at the memorial. Mom?

Yesterday Josh and the older boys went down to the Children's Museum of Evansville. When they picked me up from work, I figured from the boys' faces they had a good time. No, it was not the excited smiles or little voices telling me about their adventures, rather it was the paint! Kendrick was painted up as a pirate. Justin had his initials "tattooed" on his arm. Not too surprising he didn't want the face paint. I am impressed he let Josh paint his arm. They had a late lunch at IHOP and then got in several rounds of Super Mario Brothers on Josh's vintage Nintendo. All in all, I'd say it sounded like a great "guys day". Since returning from North Carolina, the boys seem to think they need an "agenda" each day. Thanks Mom and Dad.

Inaugural post!

Here we go! This blog will pick up where we left off on Gabe's blog. Justin and Kendrick got back from their vacation in North Carolina yesterday. We really had mixed feelings about the trip. It was both nice and quiet, and then often too quiet! This was a first time trip without us, so even though we really believed they would do well, we just weren't sure. Turns out there was nothing to worry about. They had a great time. Mom and Dad reported that after spending just one night on the boat they went from referring to it as "Grandpa O's boat" to "Our boat". Every day there was somewhere to go and something new to experience. In fact last night as Kendrick was getting ready for bed, I asked him if it would be nice to stay home the next day and he excitedly replied that it would be nice and then after we stayed home for a little bit we could do something really fun like miniature golf or the zoo! He proceeded to run in the other room and announce that we were going to the zoo the next day. I had to work for a while on Thursday and there were no plans to go anywhere. When I broke this news to him, he had a mini-meltdown, finished getting ready for bed and fell asleep in less than two minutes. I don't think it was a problem today. Before I left for work, I got out their little wading pools and the new bug sprinkler Kendrick got for his birthday. I hear they had a lot of fun with this.