Happy Birthday Gabriel!

Two years ago today was a morning of excitement, anticipation and uncertainty. The landscape of our family has changed tremendously over the past two years, but those same emotions are still present for us, as they are for any family. That day we celebrated a birth day, a new life joining our family - but it was tempered by worry and anxiety for it was a tenuous start at best. We had so many questions with few answers - those with the medical knowledge had questions with few answers that day as well, and even in the days to come. We were helpless in many ways but one - we prayed, it was all we could really do.

Last night I was reading through some materials for the Children's Liturgy today and the topic is "God always hears and answers our prayers" - and it was just what I needed - "funny" how that happens sometimes, dontcha think? There was a quote in the preparation materials that I have heard before and am certainly familiar with, but it was different to be looking through this information with the intent to discuss it with others - in this case 3-5 year olds! "Yes, God always answers prayers - but not always in the way we want or expect. He can say 'Yes' or 'no' or 'wait'...His timing is different from our own - we always want things right away, but God knows that sometimes it is important to wait."

In other words, we don't always get what we want, but we always get what is best. Ultimately, our prayers gave us our hearts desire - a healthy happy toddler who will hopefully continue to grow into a happy, healthy young man. I am so curious to see how all of our boys "turn out" so to speak, but I won't rush their younger years. I am trying to hold on to everything I can. These days, we still experience excitement, anticipation and uncertainty, but that is no different than the roller coaster of emotions experienced in your "typical" family - yes, our prayers have been answered - and we are grateful our patience has rewarded us with strong faith and loving family. HAPPY BIRTHDAY GABRIEL TIMOTHY!!!

Make a Smilebox slideshow

Countdown to Gabe's birthday

Gabriel will be 2 years old on Sunday. We've all come a long way since that very first ultrasound, and what a journey it has been. Mom and I both had ideas for slideshows, and this one was hers - to tell the story from Gabe' perspective. We worked together on the photo and comment editing and I think the finished result does a pretty good job showing the progression of the last two and a half years. Thanks to all who have been with this from the start and those who joined along the way with prayers, support and love.

Make a Smilebox slideshow

Happy Mother's Day

I just finished reading a Mother's Day blog update from some good friends in Indy, who we have so much in common with. She included an excerpt from another blog of a Mother of a special needs child and I have been in tears. I can't put those emotions into words so eloquently and you all have heard me talk about some of my own experiences with all three boys, so I am going to switch gears a little. Here's the segue first - in this excerpt it talked about strength. Strength to do what you didn't think you could. I have learned a little about that over the past 8 years since I first learned I was going to be initiated into motherhood, and especially over the last two. Those are my personal experiences, but surely if I was paying attention, I have been learning for much longer.

I come from a long distinguished line of strong women. Women who have had much to teach about grace under pressure, moments of weakness (We are also known for our tempers) and sacrifice. I love my Dad and my brothers, but Mom and I stuck together when they were gone for various reasons and found that we could run things on our own. Ok, she ran things and I tried not to be a rotten teenager. But it didn't go unnoticed. She worked, stocked the fridge, made it to track meets, fixed the furnace, fixed the dryer, changed the lightbulbs, mowed the grass, left sub sandwiches in my car when I had too many things going on to eat, came to my concerts, left me surprise jelly bellies when our schedules didn't mesh for a while...ok, so what did I do? It takes a lot of work not to be a rotten teenager! She took care of everything, leaving little time for herself and the things she loved to do just for her. With a father and two brothers in the military and in or near harms way, I still got to be a kid and enjoy high school. She did what had to be done so I could carry on with as much normalcy as possible. I got myself up and out the door every morning (she was gone for work before I was up) and that was my major contribution. But from watching her, I learned how to do that, as well as how to keep my calendar up to date so I knew where I had to be and when. I learned to juggle sports practice, music rehearsals, a part time job and homework. I tried not to add anything else to her long list of worries, but on our Sunday afternoon late lunch/early dinner dates I also learned to slow down for a minute and enjoy a little time together. We made it a priority, so I also learned a little about seizing those moments when you can, or making them happen. I learned that loving somebody else often means giving little pieces of yourself away, whether it is your friends, spouse, children, siblings or anyone who is important to you. I also learned it is ok to stand your ground when necessary. She rarely asked for help. I always knew I was loved and that she was proud of me. All children should be so lucky.

I got to experience so many amazing things my friends didn't - especially the summers I spent with HER mother. Another very strong, stubborn, adventurous and gracious woman. I think I am strong, know that I am stubborn, strive to be adventurous and am working on graciousness. I think those summers were my most "free-spirited". I lived the teenage girl dream of riding horses in "the wilderness" and exploring without a lot of rules or constraints. I learned to play poker, square dance a little, hiked mountain trails and snuck a few romance novels. I watched my Grandma enjoy life and care for another life that was growing more fragile as the years moved on. She had done it all in my eyes - run a store, run a family, picked up and moved out west, cared for others, cared for herself. She always did the best she could with what she had. That's what I saw.

There have been lots of strong women in my life and I am trying to learn from all of them. I've made mistakes and I'll make more. I pray that God and Guardian Angels watch over my children when I can't, or when the eyes in the back of my head malfunction. I pray that I can live up to these amazing women and raise kind, considerate, adventurous young men some day. The excerpt I mentioned at the beginning talked of strong women. I hope that I am one, and think most days I make it to that goal...but I'll be the first to admit that whatever strength I display is not self made. It is inherited and it was learned. The foundation was laid by others, I have only to build on it.

Thanks MOM!! Happy Mother's Day and Godspeed you on your "adventure" to Qatar! I'll miss you, but because of you, I'll be fine!